Where Lies My Faith

Tear Juglet from Israel - about 5 B.C. - 35 B.C.

(Leaving for Denver)

Will I make it?

Where is my trust?

Cried in my cottage for a while and asked for a Tender Mercy for my fear of flying!

I also cleared my Chakras, willing to try anything I could think of!!

But mostly praying with all my might and crying more tears until they had dried up.

Then I sat quietly and pondered for a while. It helped me feel peace in my solitude. My breathing then became a slowed rhythm of easier breathing.

Looking For Answers…

President Henry B. Eyring taught, “For times of confusion of the heart, you might pray and ponder, asking questions: Did God send a message that was just for me? Did I see his hand in my life today or in the past?”

After giving myself space in time, as I sat for a while, I continued looking around my cottage and my eyes focused on a quote hanging on my wall.

“May we ever have Joy in our Hearts for the great Creator of all things and his Love for us, who has placed the Herbs in the fields for his Healing.” (Dr. Edward Bach)

I had read this quote many times, but this time was different.

After reading the quote, the words that stuck out for me were a most beautiful message from my Heavenly Father. These were the words that seemed bigger than life.

“Joy, Gratitude, Creator, Love, and Healing.” I thanked God for his knowledge, for his love and understanding of me.

As I continued looking around the cottage, I noticed the century-old tear Juglet I had brought back from Israel several years ago. Its symbolism was unique to me. I remember the story of the tears which would be saved in times of grief and loss of someone loved and dear to them.

The story goes like this;

Women of ancient times who were grieving would cry tears in a Juglet to show grief, love, and respect for a person who had passed from this world. The Juglets would then be placed inside or outside of the tomb for the memorial of the loved one who had passed.

Ever so often, someone would check the vessels to see if the tears had dried up. If they had, then the mourning time was over, and the women who showed their anguish by saving their tears in their Juglet would mourn no more. They could now let go of the grief, hurt, and pain of their loss and move on with their lives.

Does the grief of the heart really go away?

I was thinking about this age-old story that has continued this ritual of saving tears of grief for Loved ones in Remembrance, Compassion, and Grace still today.

As I was pondering this, I was thinking about how many of us, from time to time, can suffer from the lack of love, acceptance, loneliness, and grief that can cause us pain of the heart. Some of these emotions can become extreme, and we cry tears for ourselves.

These feelings can affect us through experiences we have had, and they want to linger.

So, what happens if you are in the middle of your trial? What if the promise, the miracle, or the answer you long for is nowhere in sight? Have you ever wondered where you might go to find the answers that will help you get through the middle moments of your life? (Emily Freeman)

How long does it take?

The grieving process for oneself or another is different and very unique for each soul.

If we hold onto these negative feelings for too long, it can stunt our personal growth and prevent us from connecting with God spiritually.

Most of us have been through moments of despondency and doubt. We have cried many tears out of grief, uncertainty, and fear of the known and the unknown, whether it be for another or ourselves.

At the beginning of the story, the women were mourning and crying tears in their Juglets for the loss of a loved one.

However, there was also a time to stop mourning once the tears had dried up—a time to stop holding the pain, the loss, and the uncertainty.

There is a time to reflect and a time to move forward…

In our own lives, when will we stop the tears of fear, uncertainty, hurt, and pain for ourselves?

When will we know that our own Juglet of tears is dried up, and we can stop the strong pull of continued negative emotions which brings sorrow for ourselves or others?

Does the void of tears in our juglet mean it is time for us to find peace and grace moving forward?

When can we cross the line or boundaries of loss, fear, and uncertainty for ourselves and know when the time to mourn for ourselves is over?

Can it ever be over?

When can we be brave enough to give ourselves to God and Jesus Christ wholeheartedly?

When can we stop crying and find peace in our trusting of the Lord?

How do we bridge that gap?

I find it to be most difficult to totally trust in the Lord when I am in deep grief, or I need to do something I don't want to do, or I am afraid to do something scary, like flying!!

What are your struggles? What are your sadnesses and fears?

Bridging the gap of my fears, between how my mind is talking to me versus the Spirit of the Lord who is trying to talk to me can be confusing. It is harder to be in tune with the spirit of inspiration and guidance when I am in sadness and fear.

Listen for guidance…

I truly want to listen to the Lord for support and guidance, but my body and mind are speaking louder! My mind brings up every scary experience I have ever had in an airplane, and my breathing becomes stressful, my heart begins to beat faster, and the fear can escalate to the point that I really don't want to go in that direction. I don't want to do it at all!

I tell myself that if I don't get on an airplane, then I don't need to hold my distress and fear anymore.

But then I tell myself I will miss out on important bonding experiences with family and friends.

The conversation with myself doesn't stop there!

Faith versus Fear…

The argument with myself becomes a tug-of-war between Faith and Fear. What is holding me back, and how can I move forward and out of that space so I can hear God?

How do I get past the fear of the unknown with God's mercy for me?

How can I still see the beauty of life in the world?

“By Remembering God’s Tender Mercies.”

When I seek to find God each day through prayer or silence, I can feel him. I can feel his gentle persuasion of love, not forced. He wants to help guide me while I am making my own life choices.

During times of crisis or decision-making, my physical mind attempts to protect me through my fear of flying. Our minds do not calculate past, present, and future while we are in fear. It wants to hold us back to protect us. My mind wanted me to remember the fear by pulling up all the memories of the flights I have ever been on while flying in my fear! So I would choose not to do it!! Not to fly.

It was time for me to decide between Faith and Fear…

Life lessons can be hard, choices can be hard, and sometimes the choices we make Can be Faith and Fear Together.

As I am doing right now! As I am on the plane while writing my Understanding of Faith and Fear through the turbulence of the plane bouncing up and down, with clouds so thick you can't see the horizon or the ground!!

Flying is one of my greatest Fears!!!

But when we are diligent in remembering the Tender Mercies while in our Fear Moving Forward and giving our whole self to him, we are building our relationship with God and Jesus Christ while learning how to fully trust in them no matter what happens.

Understanding our God and our Savior's Love…

It is in those Sacred moments when we have trials and No control that trusting in God and Jesus Christ wholeheartedly through our fears will help us feel and see the understanding and love they have for each and every one of us. We are building trust together.

It doesn't mean, however, that all things will work out how we want them to, but it does mean we are developing a stronger bond, a stronger relationship of Faith and Courage, to see the tender Mercies that have been given to us all along. This is when tears become healing.

This is when we understand that Fear holds us back, but Faith moves us forward.

If you have never tried the trust fall game we used to play as children, you should.

Until we learn how to fully trust in God and Jesus Christ and trust that they will catch us no matter what happens, our learning will continue.

Proverbs 3;5-6

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

I will keep trying again and again until someday I will give all my trust to the Lord. For now, I am still learning and loving the Tender Mercies he gives me each day while moving forward after the tears have ceased to fall and dry up.

I think I would like to use my very own tear Juglet for the holding of my healing tears that pour down my cheeks when my spirit is most tender while in communion with my God and my Lord and Savior. I feel so much love and peace that they bring to me through the Holy Ghost when I need them the most.

I am quiet and listening for my understanding of their concern for me.

I feel as though the story of the women of old, who shed their tears in their Juglets for those they loved and missed, can help us to understand the tender mercies the Lord gives us. We progress through darkness and sadness because we are drawn to the healing light on the horizon. Our tears are healing and are most precious for ourselves and those we love. They can bring us peace and solitude within ourselves physically and spiritually. Tears can connect us to our Savior in so many ways, and they are shown to us through his Tender Mercies.

Joy in Living…

They will help you find more courage to let go of the things that hold you back. They will help you find the strength and fearlessness to move forward like the women of old who, after their mourning, remembered the Joy Living brings.

Debra